Matthew Sheahan

image

Notes From a Polite New Yorker: Sid Yiddish for President

His platform includes heavy support of the arts. He would also buy everyone a new pair of shoes and hand out bubble gum with good comics in them, not the shabby comics that have become the standard today.
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Happily Out of the Pop Culture Loop

I am glad that I'm out of touch on these things and out of the loop, and not because today's pop culture is all crap and the pop culture of my time was so much better. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Guns and the Fruitless Search for Moral Authority

What gun control advocates don't understand is that gun ownership is an integral part of America. What some of my fellow gun enthusiasts don't understand is that we already have the worst of both worlds. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Daily Life With Neither Fear Nor Apology

Let's observe a moment of silence for the victims of these horrors, but don't dare be silenced by fear....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Just Another Weekday Explosion in New York City

Was there a burning vehicle? Did someone detonate a car bomb in our neighborhood? Was there a meth lab in someone's apartment that caught fire and now toxic chemicals are in the air? ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Two Presidential Campaigns, One City

New York loves a big media circus, but America can do better. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Topless Women Are Not New York's Problem

The idea that's been circulated by the mayor is to demolish the Times Square pedestrian plaza is lunacy. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Brooklyn's Rapid Cultural Death Claims Two More

Brooklyn stopped being an "up and coming" borough nearly 10 years ago. It's now an overrated playground for the wealthy and clueless....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Jump Off the Tranny Bandwagon

If we tell our transgendered friends that their problems can be solved with hormone treatments and surgery, we're not being truthful. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: New York Means Expected Excellence

New Yorkers tolerate long commutes not because we are suckers for punishment, but because New York is worth it....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: I Want To Be Poet Laureate of Queens

Queens continues to inspire me to write poetry. Queens is my home and it's where I believe you find the most New York part of New York....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Surviving One Year as a Parent

Way too many parents think that the fact that they've reproduced puts them on some higher moral plane. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Nous Sommes Charlie

It is right to be intolerant of any ideology that feels justified treading on the freedoms of others....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Kindness Isn't Just for Women and Sissies

Don't be afraid to be kind in fear of it rendering you soft or foolish....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Time in the Woods

Hunting is a noble venture, and it requires a lot of patience and discipline....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Loss of Laughter and Singing - RIP Lizzy O'Donnell

In the midst of this tremendous loss, I was reminded of how lucky I am to have had an aunt like Liz, but also how lucky I am to come from a family that produces such people. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Best NYC Celebrity Encounter Ever - Geoffrey Holder

I had plenty of celebrities pass through my line at JFK Airport, but by far and away the best was the actor Geoffrey Holder. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: New York Has Beach Bums and Boat People

You can find some interesting seaside life right here within the five boroughs....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Labor's Love Lost

I dream of the day when the outsourcing C.E.O. gets a brick through his living room window and four flat tires on his way to work....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Great New Yorkers - My Grandmother

You would be hard pressed to meet a better person in all of the world. Go ahead and try....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Gentrification Nation

Gentrification is integration that you don't like. Integration is gentrification that benefits you. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Making Babies for Fun and Posterity

The one adventure that still terrified the shit out of me was having kids, but I could put it off no longer. ...
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Legalize It, Then Criticize It...

We are not far from the prohibition of marijuana being as antiquated and ridiculous as the prohibition against alcohol that started almost 100 years ago....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: A-Hunting You Should Go

If you're willing to eat it, you should be willing to kill it....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: A Night at White Castle

White Castle holds a unique place in the sphere of American fast food....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Atheist Church

The atheist church is an illustration of the spineless nature of our times....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Cyclist Jerks from Hell

Just because you can do less damage with a bicycle doesn't excuse you from riding it recklessly, and the Big Apple is sick with reckless cyclists....
Full story
image

Notes From A Polite New Yorker: Kosher Pedophilia, NYC Approved

New York mayoral candidates agree: It's OK to suck a baby's penis. ...
Full story
1 2 3 next total: 76 | displaying: 1 - 30
Newsletter
Email:
Author info
image Matthew Sheahan Matthew Sheahan is a writer who lives in New York City. He has been writing Notes from a Polite New Yorker since 2001. His work has appeared in The Black Table, Knot Magazine, GetUnderground.com, Too Square and other publications. He works as a financial writer and also writes short stories and poems. He is trying to get as much writing done as possible before he has to retreat to an armed bunker somewhere in Idaho or Montana.