Juli Crockett

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Eulogy for a Beastie

RIP Adam Yauch, aka MCA, 1964-2012
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Void Creation: A Tale of Two Travel Mugs

This event sent me into a reflective mood as I recalled the previous time that I had resorted to vomiting in a travel mug....
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Void Creation: Ode to a Sad, Scared Stripper

I watched her, shoulders clenched tight and jacked up to her ears, nervously teetering on her too-high clear plastic heels. ...
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Love Sickness

Nothing all that dramatic. No thing at all, actually....
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The Jesus in George Marshall

Sometime, right around the Turn of the Century, it came to my attention that I was none other than George Marshall....
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The Code: Item One

We are the Army of the Future because we Are. The call to Adventure has been sounded, and we have heard. We are battle ready. We follow the Code....
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on a clear day you can see forever....

A man once asked me for clarity. I gave it to him. Alas, he did not see it....
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Don Blue

for the love of a mannequin shalt never falter. the love of a mannequin shalt never fail. the love of a mannequin is permanence incarnate. as permanent as impermanent incarnation can be....
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Ahab

Everything happens at the right time. Everything has its own place where it’s not any problem to be the way it is. And here it is…...
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10 ways to improve your life and/or destroy it **

A reading list with argumentative **transcript from a lively spat with an unbeliever....
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The Pangs

The analysis of a feeling with musical counterpoint, cerebral graph, and a side-order of self-loathing resulting in a nutritious dose of soul fo...
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On Love

Confessions of an Apollonian dream-life within a Dionysian dithyramb. Warning: heartsickness and sappy love songs ensue....
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Gangbang Queens and Other Notable Record Holders

Whilst tracing the history of human evolution, westward expansion, manifest destiny, and the insatiable search for the More, a recollection occurs....
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Fear of Flailing

The edited life is not worth living....
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dig your hole and sit in it

Is there a difference between a reason and an excuse? Does it matter?...
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Freedom of Choice

If you were hungry and someone offered you a fine gourmet meal or a piece of dried poop, which would you choose?...
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Jesus, Buddha, and Gandhi

3 great men. One great waterpark. A whole lotta questions....
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The Tao of Poop

Ah, shat pile. Thou shalt be my muse!...
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today begins the day today

Witness me, Oh Jehovah, as I sing the song of myself!...
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The Toilets of Venice

The sacred and the profane. The agony and the ecstasy. Crockett talks about crapping at the Venice Biennale....
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Meditations on Meatholes

Terrible of the terribles. Horror of the horribles. What in the hell is going on with pornography these days?...
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On Betrayal

At the nexus of scat and surgery, what/who is this I?...
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image Juli Crockett Juli Crockett (aka Julia Christa) is a playwright, theater director, retired (undefeated) professional boxer, ordained minister, and lead singer/songwriter of the alt-country band The Evangenitals. She also worked in a sex toy company for 10+ years. Crockett was born in Coffee County, Enterprise, Alabama and currently resides in Los Angeles. She believes in the power of love, the power of now, and you.