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- The Worthless
Tommy Digital's Pussy Cocktails: My Moment with Estella
It's About Connection!
Wanna hear something lame? I never used to hit on girls where they work...because I figured, hey, that’s where they work, and they don’t need one more asshole hounding them on their job. It felt like crossing some line, like it would be harassing them if I asked them out instead of just ordering my smoothie. Obviously, this rationale got me no dates.
Within a week of moving to Lakewood, I stopped by the closest smoothie shop, and found a gorgeous blonde working behind the counter. She was amazing: stunning green eyes, slightly curly hair, pouty lips, and of course an incredible body. Imagine Estella Warren, at 21.
But I didn’t want to intrude on her “professional space,” or cross that line that I felt must be respected.
I went to this smoothie shop for over a year before I decided, to Hell with that line.
Now, in my defense, it didn’t take that long to work up the nerve to ask her out. I was preoccupied with other random trysts along the way, plus work and all that life holds. And, ok, I was dealing with a pretty brutal breakup, the grand finale of a 4.5-year relationship that gutted me from any real interest in “putting myself out there.”
But then I found myself completely single, and moreover ready to start hitting on girls, ready to let myself be vulnerable in the hopes of finding something pure. So in truth, it only took a moment’s change of heart to work up the nerve. I got excited about this woman every time I went in the Smoothie Shop, so why not start with her?
So, Monday, I went to the Smoothie Shop on my lunch break...and she wasn’t there. I came back after work, but again she wasn’t there.
I returned on Tuesday, but alas, she was nowhere to be found.
Third time was a charm; on Wednesday, I stopped in after work, and there she was.
Sure, I was a little nervous, but what the hell? Plenty of women have turned me down, and the worst that could happen was for Estella to tell me she finds me repulsive, and would like if I never returned.
So, with no warning, no preamble or player bullshit, no game whatsoever, I walked right up to her and said, “Hi, how are you?”
“Good. What brings you here today?”
“Actually, I wanted to see if you’d like to go have a drink or a cup of coffee or something with me sometime.”
It caught her way off guard. She blushed and smiled, her eyes twinkled, and as our eyes locked I barely noticed her coworkers staring at me, their mouths dropped open. The whole world vanished, and for that tiny moment, it was just Estella and me.
Then she told me she had a boyfriend, and our nirvana evaporated. Still, I had achieved my goal, in a sense.
As I left I realized that, even if I never see Estella again, nothing can take that moment away from us. Sure, I’d prefer many more moments with her, preferably outside her job and maybe even in a hot tub with some of her friends. Nevertheless, that moment of pure connection I shared with her is something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
It reminded me that I still have the moxie to be myself, and more importantly, connect with someone on a very real level.
So I risked utter humiliation. So she has a boyfriend, and I didn’t get to make anything more out of that moment.
It was still all worth it for that one true moment...even if it ends up being the only one I share with her. I’ll find someone else I connect with, probably on many deeper levels, and with any luck it will last much longer than a second or two.
And even if it doesn’t, it’s still worth all the risk in the world to slap your balls (or ovaries) right out there and hope for even one moment like this. Like they say, life is just a grand collection of moments. Sometimes, you have to make your own.