A Playground Called Romance: Eye Sex & The City

It's No Touch and Go There For Awhile

Welcome to Manhattan. It's a typical day and let's say we're walking down Lexington Avenue, somewhere around 59th street. Rushes of people scurrying in all directions trying to get where they need to be as soon as humanly possible. There's no time to stop, except maybe for a Starbuck's mocha latté.

You're bobbing and weaving through the maddening crowds of business professionals, students, street vendors, unbearable tourists, and you stop. Or at least your eyes do. Yeah, that's right, you've got a live one. Some dashing man or woman (whatever your preference) is walking towards you. No, this is not in slow motion. Remember we're in a rush here. They're looking good, and even better, they're lookin' at you kid. Depending on what kind of mood you’re in, you may look them up and down, look away and back at them again, or you stare... you lock those precious pair of optics. The climax happens at the very moment that you pass each other. Lick your lips, wink an eye, give a giggle, or just simply smile some sort of sexy, macho smirk.

Time's up. It's over. The moment has come and gone and you're on your way to your desired destination with a little more confidence and a libido boost.

Ladies and Gentlemen, what you have just experienced is a romantic ritual from the dating jungle. It's called eye sex. Granted, this eye game is more commonly practiced in a metropolitan city, rather than a college campus in the middle of nowhere, or good ol' suburbia, where you drive from one place to another. Putting the location aside, I'm going to assume that y'all know what I'm talking about since we live in a society where singles and even taken individuals are always on the look out.

Eye sex is just another new form of communication these days, which doesn't necessarily lead to anything, not even a conversation. Please, who picks up the phone anymore when you've got text messaging? All of those late night texting convos are replacing the event of having a first date, foreplay, and even those late night conversations you have when you're laying in bed with someone. With texting, you have the time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. With eye sex, you don't have to say anything at all. You can stand in back of the bar with your friends while checking people out. You can sit in the coffee shop and casually glance at that person sitting across from you. But then they get up and leave, and chances are you will never see them again.

When you're in the moment it's fairly exciting. The problem these days are that these 'games', if you will, are all substitutes for actual conversation. Ever since chivalry died (I'm not exactly sure when that was, it just sort of faded away when technology took place of talking) we've been cheating ourselves out of having true human contact and communication.

At the rate the dating world is going today, we'll be sitting at a candlelit dinner across from our significant other, and instead of having intimate conversation, we'll be texting sweet nothings back and forth. It's unfortunate, yet not so far from the truth of the matter.

The questions are: What do we actually do when someone talks to us in real life, or when we finally work up the guts to approach that person in the coffee shop? When will that eye sex partner stop and ask you where you're heading to in such a rush? When will you stop them in their tracks and ask them if they're free Friday night? Chances are, never.

It's a sad scenario when you gather your friends around and tell them all about the fabulous eye sex you were having for hours on end at the local Starbucks, and then they reply, "So what happened?" And, unfortunately the only response you've got is, "And that was it."

Perhaps it's time to take a stand against failed communication. If you're single and you're shopping those eyes around, don't just leave it at one glance. Continue onward. Try beginning with an effortless, "Hello, how are you?" This is not to say that you should leave behind your daily dose of eye sex. Certainly not, keep the fun and games in check. We've got to keep on feeling good and refreshed in this jungle of singletons.