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The Guys You'll Meet on Earth, But Not in Heaven: He's So Vain

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I wondered if the guy realized that he was basically advertising the international motto of narcissists.

On Monday a foot of snow fell on Greenwich Village. Few New Yorkers looked happy that day, covered from head to toe as they trudged through one more round of a relentless winter.

And then, amazingly by Friday it was 70 degrees and there I was sitting at a cafe on Bleecker watching NYU students, laid off Wall Streeters and the usual village peeps strolling by in tee shirts and jeans. Suddenly, I was transfixed by the message on the front of a bright blue tee shirt coming my way--"I WANT MORE" it boldly exclaimed. Certainly not more winter, I hoped. But then as the guy passed me I caught the second part of the message on his back---"AND MORE IS NOT ENOUGH.”

I wondered if the guy realized that he was basically advertising the international motto of narcissists.

Certainly, if Gordon Gekko of "Wall Street" is the mascot of narcissists and if Carly Simon regularly sings the national
anthem of narcissists then his tee shirt proclaimed the motto.

As a psychiatrist, I've spent many fifty-minute hours treating women who have been discarded by narcissistic men. Yes, love can often resemble a battlefield and I've seen the victims.

Unfortunately, a woman's relationship radar will often fail to detect the dangerous vibes of a narcissistic guy. That's because the radar gets jammed by the clothes, the cologne, the name-dropping, the car, the salary, the bonus, the condo and all the attributes that usually define a successful and desirable man.

Meanwhile, she is missing a suitcase of huge red flags lurking just below the surface.

She doesn't see him scan the room for someone more beautiful as he kisses her hello on the cheek.

She doesn't appreciate how exaggerated his stories, his figures and his so-called important acquaintances are.

She doesn't realize that the first time he feels criticism or a less than admiring gaze from her that he will retaliate with a cool rage that will feel absolutely chilling.

But, most of all, she doesn't realize that he is just not going to be satisfied with her for very long.

Why? Because she is attainable. She is an attainable love.

As the tee shirt said----MORE IS NOT ENOUGH

A narcissistic guy is always on the hunt for the unattainable.

He is always looking for someone who is more beautiful, more perfect and more likely to make him feel better.

But the hunt never ends.

If only they would all wear that tee shirt.

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