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Tommy Digital's Pussy Cocktails: Clipping the Tip

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A Cautionary Tale

What I am about to tell you is as real as it is horrifying.

I’m no fan of pubic hair. When it comes to genitals, I prefer no hair at all. Now, I won’t kick a girl out of bed if she’s got a landing strip or a little bit of fuzz, but I’ve had my share of hairy lovers, women who don’t even trim their bikini line, let alone shave it. No more, thank you very much.

I am no bushman. If there’s a forest down there, I’d rather just cuddle, or light up the bong with Ms Hippy, and smoke myself silly until I either don’t care, or I pass out.

Some people argue against shaving or waxing pubic hair, saying that a hairless penis or vagina looks like a child’s. This is a perverse line of thinking, as nobody in their right mind looks at a naked adult and sees a little kid. If you do, you are a pederast, plain and simple.

In truth, having a smooth, hairless crotch makes things a lot more fun and clean. It leaves the area more sensitive to touch, and it’s easier to stay fresh the less hair there is. Besides, it's a drag when you're going down on someone, and have to stop to cough out the pubic hair sticking to the back of your throat. I imagine this goes the same way with girls giving fellatio, and since I love giving AND receiving as much oral sex as possible, I keep my hair as short as possible, in hopes that the notion of going down on me remains an attractive one.

There are many ways to tame the hair around your private region, from shaving to waxing to lasers which we’ll touch on at a later date (my editor is negotiating the deal for this procedure).

My routine goes down every other week or so, just when the hair begins to cover my flesh. I start by shaving my head with hair clippers, and then I use the clippers to trim the rest of my unwanted body hair. Once I get my pubic hair as short as the clippers allow, I wash my cock and balls, get the skin moist, and lather up the area with shaving gel. Then I shave the area bald with a fresh Gillette Razor.

So this time around, I’m trimming my genitals like normal, when suddenly I nick my right inner thigh. This wasn’t the first time- things happen- so this in itself doesn’t freak me out. Unfortunately, my natural reaction was to turn and investigate the injury.

As I did so, the clippers hit the head of my penis.

At first it was a cold rush, as the vibrating blades sliced a gash directly below my urethra. Then the pain seared like fire, and blood started dripping from the open wound, down the outside of my shaft and into my pisshole.

I didn’t scream, or even drop the clippers. The shock of what happened kept me calm as blood from my cock splattered the bathroom floor; I simply turned the clippers off, set them on the sink, and stared at my bleeding penis.

It made the wound on my inner thigh totally insignificant. My dick had been sliced! My urethra was filling with blood, and I lost my breath as I just stared in horror.

Then I cleaned it up, and it turned out to be a pretty tiny cut, like less than 1/8 of an inch. Granted, any cut on a man’s penis is catastrophic, but really it wasn’t too bad.

Nevertheless, the moral of this story is, don’t waste time using clippers on your cock and balls. Stick to razors or wax...or this crazy laser business.

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