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- Notes From A Polite New Yorker
- Tommy Digital's Pussy Cocktails
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- The Guys You'll Meet on Earth, But Not in Heaven
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- Void Creation
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- Pulling At The Fringes
- These Altered States - America Trying to Become Itself
- The Worthless
Tommy Digital's Pussy Cocktails: I Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom
Why Burger King, of all places to do a romance explosion?
I've never really had a problem with mild exhibitionism. I'm not talking about orgies, and I'm not going to bang away in the middle of a crowded park or anything that will make other people uncomfortable. But, if there's even a shred of legitimate privacy when the mood strikes- be that a screen on the porch or inside a car- I'll go for it.
When I first met Savannah, she was a young but fully grown lioness, crazy enough to enjoy my company. She was gorgeous, sweet, and full of life. Yet somehow, in this day and age, she'd never had an orgasm outside of her own paws. Naturally, I immediately changed all that...and in doing so, Savannah's sexual appetite became insatiable.
She wanted me at all times, no matter where we were. We could be at a nice restaurant, and she'd insist we fuck in the restroom. We could be at a bar, and simply catching eyes would quickly have us clawing away at each other in the parking lot. We could be at her parent's house for dinner, and we'd find a way to pull off a quickie in the basement. We could be swimming at the beach in Fort Lauderdale, and she'd wrap herself around me, and give the fish a XXX show.
Hotel with a window overlooking Miami? Elevator? Balcony at her apartment? In the car in the front row at a drive-in theater? Done. Sure, we almost got arrested several times, but lucky for us, the cops could tell we were stupid in love, and let us go.
One day, she gave me that puuurrrr as we were driving around Boca Raton. It was a nice afternoon, and we were cruising around in my new Audi TT. Maybe it was my musk, or maybe it was the power of the roadster, but she decided we needed to pull over ASAP, so I could fuck her on the hood.
We found an empty cul-de-sac, pulled over, hopped out, and she leaned her slender frame atop my car, hiking up that fine, bushy tail of hers. We went at it for a couple minutes, until we noticed a stream of cars going in and out of the post office next to us, something our lust had blinded us to. It wasn't necessarily the fact that a lot of people had probably noticed us getting carnal that freaked us out, but rather the idea that this was now possibly a serious crime.
We decided to find a place that wasn't on government property, and when we came upon a Burger King, we smiled at each other, knowing this had to be done.
Why Burger King, of all shitty places to do a romance explosion? If you're asking this, I assume you didn't grow up in the 90's, or are otherwise unfamiliar with Digital Underground's "The Humpty Dance."
Specifically, one of the funniest lines of that song is, "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom." The choice was clear.
We casually went into the bathroom, and found that we couldn't lock the door, but we could lock the toilet stall, so that's where we confined ourselves. She leaned back against the wall, wrapping one leg around me, and in I went! Pounding away like she wanted, biting her neck not too hard, but just enough to remind her this was a Tommy Digital production.
At least two people came in during the session, to use the urinal. The first time, she chomped down on my hand to keep quiet. The second time, we just kept going, and after that...we were just hearing the bass groove, our own funky-ass music.
When we were done, we grabbed burgers, and went about our day.
Is this romantic? I dunno. It's not some crap you'd see in some jive-ass PG13 romcom, that has you thinking the nice guy always wins the prom queen in the end. We were in love, we wanted to express that through sex, and we did it. It was pure and natural, just two cats becoming one, the rest of the world be damned.
I'll take that over Hollywood's bullshit any day of the week.